reforming observer insomniac

I'm glad people like this are out there

2009-02-26T00:13:00.004-06:00

I was feeling unsettled this evening for no reason I can discern, so I sought some distraction in the internet. I ended up spending several hours wandering around this site:

Action Squad: Minneapolis

I think I may have posted it before, but it merits a reposting. I especially recommend these entries (mostly found on the missions, misc. page):

Bridge to Dimension Zed (I can't believe I've been driving under this bridge for years and never once thought how weird it is that it comes from and goes to nowhere),
Inside the Wabasha Street Bridge,
Max Action's Crawlspace, and
Cobb Caves.

I keep telling myself it will get better soon.

2009-01-15T22:49:00.005-06:00

So Paul makes fun of me for having my radio alarm set to MPR news. Yes, I awake to the smooth voice of Cathy Wurzer. Geeky banter with Paul Huttner the meteorologist and all. It's hilarious to him. He won't listen to my explanations.

HEY PAUL HERE'S WHY: for about 7 months of the year, it's a preview of my workday. Like today, when it reminded me about the state of the state address (we always have Savoy's pizza while we watch so I didn't have to pack a lunch) and Tuesday, when I awoke to "...state finance officials will issue a report Thursday on spending from the 35W bridge collapse victim compensation fund..." and realized I am one of only three people who might be issuing such a report and it certainly wasn't on my to-do list this week. (Crisis averted: I sent an email around when I got to work, and luckily one of the other two people had read a similar statement in the Pioneer Press over the weekend and had initiated said report. He squeaked it in under the wire today. That's about how it's going these days.)

I rest my case. It's not just hopeless nerd-dom (but I might qualify for other reasons).

Here I am. Is there a roadmap?

2009-01-15T22:41:00.005-06:00

Friends, I have now entered the iPod nation. This means years of being totally behind on music can come to an end. Paul wasn't ever behind on music, but he's joining the iPod nation for the convenience. Apparently there's a LOT of reggae on iTunes, so he's in heaven.

We are slowly learning our way around iTunes, and I even tried out the Amazon.com music shop today (they have rotating free downloads! plus they gave me a $5 credit for something I bought at some point). We have mostly mastered the iPod boombox I purchased for his birthday. Sometimes I can get my iPod radio tuner thingy to work in my car. So here we are!

Now I need your help. What should I download? I need song suggestions. Lots of them.

Thanks, team.

Happy (almost) new year

2008-12-30T22:54:00.003-06:00

I find this really entertaining and possibly concerning. What if your job was determining when to add a second to the world's time? And is the Earth's rotation really slowing down? Should I be concerned about this?

Just a second: 2008 needs one more before it ends

December 29, 2008

On New Year's Eve, a "leap second" will be added to the world's clocks at 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds Coordinated Universal Time, the U.S. Naval Observatory announced.

For Minnesotans, that corresponds to 5:59:59 p.m. Central Standard Time on Wednesday, just in case you want to adjust your own clocks accordingly.

The extra second will be inserted at the observatory's Master Clock Facility in Washington, marking the 24th leap second since 1972 to be added to UTC, a uniform time scale kept by atomic clocks around the world.

The leap second is necessary because the Earth's rotation is gradually slowing down. Leap seconds have been added at intervals varying from six months to seven years, with the most recent being inserted on Dec. 31, 2005.

The observatory's mission includes determining the position and motion of the Earth, sun, moon, planets, stars and other celestial objects, providing astronomical data, determining precise time and measuring the Earth's rotation.

Paul Walsh, Star Tribune

Maybe the future is bright afterall?

2008-12-29T23:13:00.001-06:00

What if they were all like this? (definitely listen to the 7 minute story to get the full effect of how great this girl is)

They did it

2008-12-28T21:31:00.001-06:00

Go Vikes!

On to the Eagles...

Crap Packular

2008-12-22T23:05:00.002-06:00

Damn Packers. We ask just one thing of you all season. Beat the terrible-looking Bears. Take the game that was practically handed to you and win it.

Now we need everyone to send positive energy to the annoyingly named Houston Texans. Let's hope they forget they're less than .500 and have been giving games away. Guys, focus on your recent record of 4-1 and your home record of 5-2. Get it done.

Thanks.

Shoes

2008-12-18T23:03:00.001-06:00

Paul gets credit for stumbling upon this little game. I was really terrible at first but worked up to a score of 10 after a few tries.

Parties and the economy

2008-12-01T21:48:00.003-06:00

The Strib has been running some really excellent commentary on the two main topics that are occupying my mind these days: the plight of political parties (and elections) and the federal government's approach to the economic troubles. So I thought I'd share.

As you can probably tell from these selections, I'm not too keen on how the bailout is being handled. I'm hoping the Democrats will not be dragged down by the mistakes already made, and can turn massive government intervention into something good. I'm not yet sure how I would define "good" intervention, but I know it doesn't include bailing out specific industries and encouraging the same kind of economic decision-making that led to the crisis in the first place.

I'm also not a fan of the current two party monopoly. On our way through the vast expanse of North Dakota, I talked the ears off of Paul and his mother about how our system is too focused on the individual candidate and not enough on the party platform. In our system, parties exist mostly to elect individual candidates who generally identify with a subset of their party principles, rather than to produce coherent, differentiated policy platforms and be the machinery that runs government efficiently once elected. In parlimentary systems, people typically elect the party (platform), so there is typically more policy differentiation and a party can ditch dud candidates more easily without losing power (bet the Republicans would love some of that right about now). Plus the whole party coalition-building thing is cool. So, I really like the discussion of "fusion" below, and the explanation of how it differs from IRV. If we're stuck with the individualistic/candidate focus then I'm all for IRV. But it would be nice to move the other direction.
____________________________________________________________________

To profit in this market, go long Washington

And short the market economy, especially with Democrats consolidating their power.

By CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, Washington Post

WASHINGTON - In the old days -- from the Venetian Republic to, oh, the Bear Stearns rescue -- if you wanted to get rich, you did it the Warren Buffett way: You learned to read balance sheets. Today you learn to read political tea leaves. You don't anticipate Intel's third-quarter earnings; instead, you guess what side of the bed Henry Paulson will wake up on tomorrow.

Today's extreme stock market volatility is not just a symptom of fear -- fear cannot account for days of wild market swings upward -- but a reaction to meta-economic events: political decisions that have vast economic effects.

As economist Irwin Stelzer argues, we have gone from a market economy to a political economy. Consider seven days in November. On Tuesday, Nov. 18, Paulson broadly implies he's only using half the $700 billion bailout money. Having already spent most of his $350 billion, he's going to leave the rest to his successor. The message received on Wall Street: I'm done, I'm gone.

Facing the prospect of two months of political limbo, the market craters. Led by the banks (whose balance sheets did not change between Tuesday and Wednesday), the market sees the largest two-day drop in the S&P since 1933, not a very good year.

The next day (Friday) at 3 p.m., word leaks of Timothy Geithner's impending nomination as Treasury secretary. The mere suggestion of continuity -- and continued authoritative intervention during the interregnum by the guy who'd been working hand in glove with Paulson all along -- sends the Dow up 500 points in one hour. Monday sees another 400-point increase, the biggest two-day (percentage) rise since 1987. Why? Three political events: Paulson's weekend Citigroup bailout; the official rollout of Obama's economic team, Geithner and Larry Summers, and Paulson quietly walking back from his earlier de facto resignation by indicating he would be ready to use the remaining $350 billion (with Team Obama input) over the next two months.

That undid the market swoon -- and dramatically demonstrated how politically driven the economy has become.

We may one day go back to a market economy. Meanwhile, we need to face the two most important implications of our newly politicized economy: the vastly increased importance of lobbying and the massive market inefficiencies that political directives will introduce.

Lobbying used to be about advantages at the margin -- a regulatory break here, a subsidy there. Now lobbying is about life and death. Your lending institution or industry gets a bailout -- or it dies.

You used to go to New York for capital. Now Wall Street, broke, is coming to Washington. With unimaginably large sums of money being given out by Washington, the Obama administration, through no fault of its own, will be subject to the most intense, most frenzied lobbying in American history.

That will introduce one kind of economic distortion. The other kind will come from the political directives issued by newly empowered politicians.

First, bank presidents are gravely warned by one senator after another about "hoarding" their bailout money. But hoarding is another word for recapitalizing to shore up your balance sheet to ensure solvency. Is that not the fiduciary responsibility of bank directors? And isn't pushing money out the window with too little capital precisely the lending laxity that produced this crisis in the first place? Never mind. The banks will knuckle under to the commissars of Capitol Hill. They control the purse. Prudence will yield to politics.

Even more egregious will be the directives to a nationalized Detroit. Sen. Charles Schumer, the noted automotive engineer, declared "unacceptable" last week "a business model based on gas." Instead, "We need a business model based on cars of the future, and we already know what that future is: the plug-in hybrid electric car."

The Chevy Volt, for example? It has huge remaining technological hurdles, gets 40 miles on a charge and will sell for about $40,000, necessitating a $7,500 outright government subsidy. Who but the rich and politically correct will choose that over a $12,000 gas-powered Hyundai? The new Detroit churning out Schumer-mobiles will make the steel mills of the Soviet Union look the model of efficiency.

The ruling Democrats have a choice: Rescue this economy to return it to market control. Or use this crisis to seize the commanding heights of the economy for the greater social good. Note: The latter has already been tried. The results are filed under "History, ash heap of."
____________________________________________________________________

Just say no deal to a new New Deal

FDR's program may have actually prolonged the Great Depression.

By George F. Will

WASHINGTON - Early in what became the Great Depression, John Maynard Keynes was asked if anything similar had ever happened. "Yes," he replied, "it was called the Dark Ages and it lasted 400 years." It did take 25 years, until November 1954, for the Dow to return to the peak it reached in September 1929. So caution is sensible concerning calls for a new New Deal.

The assumption is that the New Deal vanquished the Depression.

Intelligent, informed people differ about why the Depression lasted so long. But people whose recipe for recovery today is another New Deal should remember that America's biggest industrial collapse occurred in 1937, eight years after the 1929 stock market crash and nearly five years into the New Deal. In 1939, after a decade of frantic federal spending -- President Herbert Hoover increased it more than 50 percent between 1929 and the inauguration of Franklin Roosevelt -- unemployment was 17.2 percent.

"I say after eight years of this administration we have just as much unemployment as when we started," lamented Henry Morgenthau, FDR's Treasury secretary. Unemployment declined when America began selling materials to nations engaged in a war America would soon join.

In "The Forgotten Man: A New History of the Great Depression," Amity Shlaes of the Council on Foreign Relations and Bloomberg News argues that government policies, beyond the Federal Reserve's tight money, deepened and prolonged the Depression. The policies included encouraging strong unions and wages higher than lagging productivity justified, on the theory that workers' spending would be stimulative. Instead, corporate profits -- prerequisites for job-creating investments -- were excessively drained into labor expenses that left many workers priced out of the market.

In a 2004 paper, Harold L. Cole of UCLA and Lee E. Ohanian of UCLA and the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis argued that the Depression would have ended in 1936, rather than in 1943, were it not for policies that magnified the power of labor and encouraged the cartelization of industries. These policies expressed the New Deal premise that the Depression was caused by excessive competition that first reduced prices and wages, and then employment and consumer demand. In a forthcoming paper, Ohanian argues that "much of the depth of the Depression" is explained by Hoover's policy -- a precursor of the New Deal mentality -- of pressuring businesses to keep nominal wages fixed.

Furthermore, Hoover's 1932 increase in the top income tax rate, from 25 percent to 63 percent, was unhelpful. And FDR's hyperkinetic New Deal created uncertainties that paralyzed private-sector decisionmaking. Which sounds familiar.

Bear Stearns? Broker a merger. Lehman Brothers? Death sentence. The $700 billion is for cleaning up toxic assets? Maybe not. Writes Russell Roberts of George Mason University:

"By acting without rhyme or reason, politicians have destroyed the rules of the game. There is no reason to invest, no reason to take risk, no reason to be prudent, no reason to look for buyers if your firm is failing. Everything is up in the air and as a result, the only prudent policy is to wait and see what the government will do next. The frenetic efforts of FDR had the same impact: Net investment was negative through much of the 1930s."

Barack Obama says the next stimulus should deliver a "jolt." His adviser Austan Goolsbee says it must be big enough to "startle the thing into submission." Their theory is that the crisis is largely psychological, requiring shock treatment. But shocks from government have been plentiful.

Unfortunately, one thing government can do quickly and efficiently -- distribute checks -- could fail to stimulate because Americans might do with the money what they have been rightly criticized for not doing nearly enough: save it. Because individual consumption is 70 percent of economic activity, St. Augustine's prayer ("Give me chastity and continence, but not yet") is echoed today: Make Americans thrifty, but not now.

Obama's "rescue plan for the middle class" includes a tax credit for businesses "for each new employee they hire" in America over the next two years. The assumption is that businesses will create jobs that would not have been created without the subsidy. If so, the subsidy will suffuse the economy with inefficiencies -- labor costs not justified by value added.

Here we go again? A new New Deal would vindicate pessimists who say that history is not one damn thing after another, it is the same damn thing over and over.
____________________________________________________________________

How to have minor parties that are more than spoilers

Reintroduce the concept of fusion, and add a dash or two of instant-runoff voting.

By DAVID MORRIS

In the Sixth Congressional District, Michele Bachmann beat Elwyn Tinklenberg by 2 percent. The Independence Party candidate garnered 10 percent of the vote. That much has been widely reported.

Less widely known is that the Independence Party actually endorsed Tinklenberg at its convention. Its members believed that Tinklenberg best represented the party's platform and values. But Minnesota law doesn't permit multiple parties to nominate the same candidate. The Independence Party could be on the ballot only by nominating someone less acceptable than Tinklenberg, a move that effectively defeated its preferred candidate.

A little more than a hundred years ago, Minnesota and the rest of the nation allowed third parties to grow without simply being spoilers. The process is called fusion politics. Third parties can ally (fuse) themselves with major parties (or vice versa). But in the 1880s and 1890s third parties like the People's Party and the Populist Party allied with the Democratic Party and won a number of elections. Which led the minority Republican Party, when it controlled state legislatures, to pass laws that banned fusion. One Republican Minnesota legislator was clear about his party's goal: "We don't propose to allow the Democrats to make allies of the Populists, Prohibitionists, or any other party, and get up combination tickets against us. We can whip them single-handed, but don't intend to fight all creation."

By 1907, fusion had been banned in 18 states. Today, it is legal in only seven states: Connecticut, Delaware, Idaho, Mississippi, New York, South Carolina and Vermont.

In 1994, it returned to the national spotlight when Andy Dawkins ran unopposed for the Minnesota House of Representatives in the Democratic primary but also accepted the endorsement of the fledgling New Party. Minnesota's secretary of state sued. The New Party argued that Minnesota's ban on fusion voting interfered with its members' constitutional right to free speech. The U.S. Supreme Court disagreed. In 1997, the court ruled upheld Minnesota's right to forcibly maintain its two-party monopoly.

The New Party disappeared, but other parties arose and survived in Minnesota. One result is that the winners in statewide and federal elections are elected with fewer than 50 percent of the votes. Since 1994, no gubernatorial candidate has won a majority of the vote. When this year's results are complete, two congressional seats and one Senate seat will have been won by a minority candidate. Except for the unique candidacy of Jesse Ventura, third parties in Minnesota now only play the role of spoilers.

While fusion has fallen out of the spotlight, another voting innovation has gained traction: instant-runoff, or ranked-choice, voting. In this process, voters assign a numerical rank to each candidate. After the election the candidate with the fewest first-place votes is eliminated and his or her second-place votes are redistributed. The process continues until only two candidates remain and one is declared the winner by majority vote. Such voting is now in effect in several cities. In 2006, Minneapolis voters overwhelmingly endorsed the process, but a lawsuit may stall its implementation.

Instant runoff is an important and useful innovation. Based on the country's limited experience, it changes the tone of campaigns for the better because candidates are angling to be not only the first choice of their backers but also the second choice of someone else's. Wider political diversity should result when voters have second and third choices.

Instant runoff and fusion address different ends. Instant runoff focuses on the candidate. Its goal is to ensure that the winner has gained a majority of the votes. Fusion's goal is to build political parties. By allowing minor parties to ally with major parties, it enables them to gain an influence on the major party similar to the influence minor parties exercise in European parliaments where parties that gain more than a certain percentage of the vote earn seats based on the proportion of the vote they win. Political parties are now in disrepute, but they can serve an important and enduring role when they develop a coherent and stable value-based program that offers voters a different framework for policymaking.

Instant runoff should be widely implemented. But we should not ignore the benefits that come from having third parties whose members can nominate the candidate who best represents a party's values and, by doing so, can gain a maturity and influence that will never come if they can only play the role of spoiler.

David Morris is vice president of the Institute for Local Self-Reliance, based in Minneapolis and Washington, D.C.

POTUS

2008-11-16T22:26:00.006-06:00

Yes Rachel, I do feel a little like we're living the West Wing. Watching the 60 Minutes interview tonight, I got to thinking how nice it will be to have a president that isn't embarrassing. I also really liked that Michelle Obama kept interrupting him when he trailed off or wasn't getting to the point quickly. I hope she keeps doing that.

I am also enjoying all the news stories about normal people transitioning to White House life. It's been awhile since we've had a new president, and even longer since the new president's family were normal-ish people, so perhaps this is standard practice journalism and I just don't remember. For example, I had never given this transition issue any thought until now.

(photo courtsey of whitepaper.org.uk)

Just to check

2008-11-04T22:52:00.003-06:00

So, just to check if I voted for the right people, I did the Select a Candidate quiz on MPR.org tonight. I'm happy to report I voted for the right candidates for president and U.S. senate. According to MPR, I agreed 100% with my senate choice and about 62% with my presidential choice. If you haven't done it already, it's almost more interesting after you've voted.

And yes, I'm totally crying as I watch the speech.

Did I mention it's a big day?

2008-11-04T21:42:00.002-06:00

A REALLY big day

2008-11-04T21:36:00.003-06:00

A big day

2008-11-04T21:27:00.004-06:00

I did find the random photographer curious at the time

2008-10-29T23:24:00.003-05:00

Here I am on the Pizza Luce website (you have to watch the slide show for a few minutes)

How Wars End

2008-10-27T21:11:00.003-05:00

Public Radio International - The World recently aired a series called How Wars End that I think is must-listen radio. The trailer reads:

The war in Iraq has now lasted more than five years. "Tell me how this ends," General David Petraeus said famously early on in the conflict. In her five-part series The World's Jeb Sharp is looking at how wars end. They don't end quite the way we imagine they do. And sometimes they don't end at all. She looks to the past for some clues.

The five-part series looks at the American Civil War, World War I, the first Gulf War, and the Bosnian conflict, drawing parallels and lessons for our current situation. You can download the audio or look at the transcript with pictures.

Additional thoughts

2008-10-26T10:49:00.005-05:00

So Laura W told me the Strib endorsed Coleman (so did the PP but that's not a surprise)--oh if only I could get the Strib to deliver my Sunday paper to Paul's house instead of mine! But anyway, it prompted me to continue my research on whom to vote for, despite my despair from earlier this week. Some thoughts:

I find the Strib's argument about how well Coleman would be positioned to reform the Republican party and advance moderate legislation much more compelling than the Clinton ad about voting for Franken because we need to strengthen the Democratic majority. When we have a Democratic president, the need for a stronger majority diminishes. Judging from our experience here in Minnesota, I think there's real value in having to sell some of the other party's moderate members in order to pass major legislation. Also, Americans typically do not consider a congressional member's seniority enough in their voting decision. For a relatively small state, seniority makes all the difference in getting our issues heard. For example, South Dakotans made a really moronic move in voting Tom Daschle out of office in 2002. Coleman has only one term, but the Strib makes a good point--Republicans are retiring in droves and when McCain is defeated the party will hopefully be looking to its more moderate members to help rebuild.

Comparing the "issues" sections of the Coleman and Franken websites, I think Coleman gets the edge. I feel like I agree with more of Franken's positions but don't agree with him on the issues that are most important to me: health care reform and balancing the federal budget. Former Sen. Dave Durenberger has endorsed Coleman's position on health care which is a big deal because Durenberger is one of the foremost voices on reasonable health care reform. Coleman also supports "pay go" which is getting rare among Republicans since it was tainted by Democrats during the Clinton administration--but this is really the only way we're going to balance the budget. I know a big economic crisis isn't the time to decrease federal government spending and all that blah blah but I'm not too keen on current retirees and near-retirees rebuilding their nest eggs by borrowing against mine. But then he did vote for the bailout, which Franken opposed. So I just don't know.

But then there's gay marriage. Coleman opposes legalizing gay marriage or civil unions. That's just dumb. But given the composition of Congress and a Democratic president with a lot of other things on his first 100 days agenda, plus the economic and health care crises, it's unlikely the federal government will be doing much on gay rights during the next 6 years.

Coleman is well-known for questionable morality and putting a pretty face on a troubled family life. I'm not a big "morals" voter so this isn't a huge issue for me, but it's disturbing when people run the shiny-happy family campaign ads when the entire world knows that's crap. I do believe the big blow ups about his apartment and clothes are really much ado about nothing--but still, stuff like this comes up about him all the darn time. Oh, but I thought he had a good response when his dad got caught doin' it with a lady of questionable morals in the Savoy's parking lot.

Coleman supported the invasion of Iraq and has been generally supportive of Pres. Bush's policies regarding the war. Can possible future good deeds outweigh this colossal mistake? I'm leaning towards no.

Sigh, any one else have helpful thoughts?

Way to go "Have You Heard" blurb guy (or gal) at the Strib!

2008-10-23T22:01:00.005-05:00

Parents in Oklahoma and Pennsylvania are returning Fisher-Price's "Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo" doll claiming that it mumbles, "Satan is king," and "Islam is the light."

Can I abstain?

2008-10-23T21:31:00.004-05:00

I sincerely believe in the value of voting. Taking a stand, making a choice, representative democracy and all that. But I'm sitting here watching a recent debate with the Minnesota candidates for the U.S. Senate and I just don't want to vote for any of them.

I know this sounds terrible, but I honestly think I'm more qualified than all of them. That's not a good sign. And Norm Coleman is the only one of them that sounds like he has a brain on his shoulders. That's a really bad sign.

So if you want to feel my pain, there's a great website that breaks down the debate by question (so you can skip over the questions that don't interest you much and fast forward through the candidates you find annoying).

If anyone has compelling reasons to vote for any of the candidates feel free to share--I need some help here. So far the only one who has made a good pitch to me is the new Hillary Clinton TV ad in favor of Al Franken. It was such a clear textbook appeal to independents. They must be really worried about the Barkley factor.

Yes, I'm still alive

2008-10-12T20:33:00.004-05:00

The Strib managed to put together a decent opinion section this week, despite the fact they're hemmorhaging staff. I particularly liked this commentary on ingenuity and hope. And then Sack's gem:

Uh, yes. It turns out smear tactics work really well with Republican audiences and not so well with Democratic ones. That's why many Republicans think Obama is a terrorist while many Democrats think McCain is a decent, heroic guy who wouldn't make nearly as good a president in terms of decision-making and policy knowledge/beliefs. Is it just me or do Republicans mostly smear with untruths and Democrats mostly smear with truths (the U.S. Senate race in MN excepted because it should be excepted from all lists)?

This commentary on teen pregnancy was interesting also. Just this week one of the budget ladies was lamenting how crazily Puritanical we are in the U.S. It appears this lady agrees.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering: I don't feel bad for the NE Patriots at all. But I am excited for the new Bond movie!

Because otherwise I'll forget

2008-09-17T22:49:00.002-05:00

Here's my official post to track my ab contest work.

Baseball can be fun...

2008-08-28T00:02:00.004-05:00

...if you sit extremely close in the most incredible ballpark. Note: these conditions can be difficult to achieve.

The fam: unphotogenic

Ballpark: built to encompass historic buildings and cheap lawn seating

Our seats/my boys

Brother in habitat

2008-08-27T23:49:00.007-05:00

Exhibit A: Brother using specialized gaming computer as television (with Bose wireless headphones) - wise older sister noted the fantastic emailing speed possible with fancy gaming computer

Exhibit B: Brother using digital cable/DVR-enabled TV exclusively for video game play (with secondary pair of Bose wireless headphones) - prior to traumatic death of Xbox 360 and subsequent replacement by the manufacturer after grueling 3 week wait

Exhibit C: Brother rapidly consuming massive plate of fried potatoes, fatty meat, and dairy products

Alternate title: Brother looking like teenager

What's with...

2008-08-19T23:04:00.007-05:00

...all the shrink-wrapped vegetables at SuperTarget? Okay, maybe to hold the bell peppers on the foam tray and to keep the avocados from getting bruised. But today they had a huge bin of individually shrink-wrapped russet potatoes. You know, the big dirt-covered starch balls that can be used to bludgeon someone to death when swung in a sock. Does the shrink-wrap keep them authentically dirty?

...the busty, bikini-babe half-time show during the women's beach volleyball semifinal? Paul tells me they've had these bikini dances the whole time, but that was certainly the first one I caught a glimpse of.

...pole vaulting. Enough said. Oh, and trampoline. Enough, enough said.

FYI - I totally cried when they showed Shawn Johnson's parents tonight. Even though dumb MPR ruined the surprise for me this morning. Go USA gymnastics. I was truly proud to be an American tonight.

In the Loop - The Week

2008-08-15T18:46:00.003-05:00

I like this show on MPR. Today was especially good. (From the link you can download a podcast or listen online.)

You all will enjoy the poem about the Olympics about half way through and must listen to the song about the Georgia-Russia conflict right at the end of the show (so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, just scroll to the end).

Getting excited for winter...

2008-08-15T18:38:00.002-05:00

Yes, I look silly.

Not a family show

2008-08-09T12:31:00.005-05:00

So I'm watching women's beach volleyball and the camera crew is totally doing the full-body close-up pan shot of the women's sweaty, sandy bodies. Blatantly, not even trying to hide it.

In between points they'll quickly cut to a completely different part of the court and pan up from a player's ankles all the way to her boobs--then cut away to the next point before reaching her face.

But anyway, there's a former U of M volleyball player on right now and she's pretty good.

FYI - women's and men's gymnastic team qualifying is on primetime Sunday night, then men's team finals are Monday night and women's team finals are Tuesday night

Nice work

2008-08-09T00:02:00.003-05:00

As I've mentioned, I think punditry is out of control--but I should clarify that it's true everywhere except the NYT. Their columnists are a smart bunch of people. Two good ones from this week:

David Brooks on why Obama isn't winning by a landslide
Paul Krugman on Republican reliance on know-nothing politics

Also, the Economist continues to pump out amazing analysis of business, markets, and politics. I might need to subscribe. Some recent highlights:

First in a series of profiles of battleground states
Discussion of the evolving role of the Fed (I'm telling you, this is the time to be a Fed economist--except that the whole house of cards might just fall apart soon)
The perils of the housing bill

I'm just sayin'

2008-08-08T02:25:00.003-05:00

Paul keeps a list of "Abberisms," or phrases he thinks are unique to me. I maintain (correctly, of course) that most of these phrases are quite common. He proved me right the other day by finding his favorite Abberism in the Urban Dictionary.

Paul also likes to take brief mental breaks at work. Sometimes during these breaks he composes songs or rhymes to amuse himself and his friends. Based on a set of his favorite Abberisms, he recently composed this email:

So I was just sayin’ that I was gonna say that clearly this is my point….I do what I can!

To which I replied:

My point is that clearly someone is not doing what he can at work this afternoon. I'm just saying.

Not so sleeping giant

2008-07-20T23:45:00.004-05:00

The Strib was disappointing today. A bunch of people must be on vacation or something.

But I am fascinated by the lengths to which China will go (and can go) to make itself fit to host the Olympics. The latest installment: an AP story from the Strib and more detail found by Google News.

I can't imagine living in a country where (a) this amount of clean up would be required, and (b) the government could just shut down whole industries or ban car traffic to achieve it.

What you've been waiting for

2008-07-14T22:01:00.005-05:00

Here we are, flying through the air on the canopy tour. This was the nice, short, relaxing first zipline where we were instructed to sit upright and smile for the camera. The rest of the time we had to sit back in a sort of upside-down crouch, and probably looked a bit more scared or much more exhilarated, depending.

Random useless information about my life

2008-07-14T20:38:00.005-05:00

If you've been listening to me complain about how swamped I am at work. you'll be happy to know I got nearly caught up today. It was mostly because not a single agency called me all day. Not one. I actually thought the IP phones were down again (an almost weekly occurrence) but they weren't! A few more days like this and I might be able to start taking occasional lunch breaks again.

I love Redbox, the machine that rents movies at McDonald's. Crazy John said it was the best thing ever, and I finally tried it. It had a surprising array of movies for $1 per night, and it will send you polite emails letting you know when you have rented and returned a movie.

I had a baby spinach salad for dinner tonight. This wouldn't have been exciting, except that the cats discovered their intense love for baby spinach. They kept trying to run off with the spinach leaves. I would have taken a picture except I was worried about the puking that would follow if I let them actually ingest a leaf.

Oh, and a nice young man called from the U tonight to thank me for my recent donation (to the scholarship fund that paid a portion of my master's). I enjoy good strategy--and that was excellent strategy. I will totally give to the U again soon. Macalester could learn a thing or two.

Mexico was great

2008-07-10T22:29:00.007-05:00

I honestly don't think I used my brain for an entire week. It was great.

Our favorite view

Mexican beach peddler with Vikings backpack

Almost famous

2008-07-10T20:05:00.002-05:00

Finally, the dynamic duo of Jackson and Audrey have made it to the pet sitters' website. They're about midway down the page, and they are pretty darn excited about it. In fact, they're sitting here giving me the usual vacant looks just to prove it.

I'm honestly a bit worried they like the pet sitters more than they like me.

War of the acronyms

2008-06-29T18:47:00.006-05:00

Props to these die-hard Clinton fans for coining the term puma, which stands for "Party Unity My Ass." They also came up with HOUND, which stands for "Hell, Obama's Unqualified, No Deal " to counter an Obama supporter's use of HOUND to mean "Hillary Obama United Not Divided" in response to the original puma.

Click here if you want to hear "Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley "groovin' on a HillPod." (I will give them HillRaisers despite the annoying cutsey-ness, but I will most certainly not give them Hillpod.)

On a sidenote, did anyone else notice they switched back to "Variety" from "Source"? Good move, whoever made that call. What does "Source" mean anyway? And yes, I noticed this while cutting crossword puzzles out of old newspapers for entertainment on my trip. I am just that nerdy. And lazy too, judging from the large stack of papers I had yet to recycle.

(Photo courtesy of www.puma08.com)

Picture this

2008-06-24T22:13:00.005-05:00

We're going to do this or this in Mexico. Oh, yes.

(play the videos. you'll be glad you did.)

You know who you are

2008-06-23T22:36:00.005-05:00

To Saint Paul Saints fans: Energy Park Drive is a road. That people drive on. To get places. Quickly. It may seem like a parking lot, but I assure you it is not. If you are not moving forward, you should not be in the driving lane. Period. This is your official warning. The next time one of you slows to a stop to give adequate consideration to "Charity Park - $6" versus "Cheapest Saints Parking!!! - $5" I swear I will lay on that horn so hard you won't know what hit you.

To the creepy young guys in the hot tub at the Little Canada Bally's Total Fitness: You are not cool. No, I'm serious, you're not cool at all. Just because the hot tub has floor to ceiling windows overlooking the lobby does not mean you should sit there and ogle the women entering the club in their skin-tight workout gear. The old dudes get a pass because they have no chance with these women--all they have left is the ogling. But you, Mr. Twenty- or Thirty-Something Moderately Fit Guy With Questionable Judgment, you still have a semblance of a chance to get laid by one of these glistening beauties. Don't blow it with the ogling.

Feeling old

2008-06-12T19:27:00.003-05:00

My baby brother was "promoted" to high school today. Here is how he looked on the first day of first grade. Needless to say, he doesn't look like this anymore. But he is a wealth of information about cell phone options and plans, if you are in the market.

What are you telling me?

2008-06-04T22:55:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I was dashing through Rainbow Foods for milk and hamburger buns when the end cap of the chip aisle caught my eye. (Not the end cap that's actually outside the aisle, but the one right near the end of the aisle where they rotate in and out things that are somewhat related to the contents of the aisle). Instead of the usual dips, candies, or similarly complementary items, the end cap featured...control top panty hose.

Also, a mini-rant: I made the mistake of going to trivia at Brit's Pub tonight. It was completely packed to the point of insanity, we couldn't understand a word spoken by the Brit with the crappy sound system, and then it took me 40 MINUTES to get home because of the f'ing Twinkies traffic--causing me to miss Top Chef. I think that's it for me and trivia.

Emotional eater

2008-06-02T19:39:00.006-05:00

One of the great loves of my life is...Crispix. Yes, the cereal. I have a really pathetic addiction to that crispy rice on the one side and crunchy corn on the other. I usually eat a bowl of cereal each night before bed, and 94% of the time it is Crispix. Often I enjoy the first bowl so much that I chase it with another.

Anne likes Crispix too (the normal healthy amount), but didn't want to eat it when we lived together lest she be the one to finish the box--and cause anger or sadness. I bought so many boxes at SuperTarget last week that the checkout clerk commented loudly on how much I must love the stuff. Last night I had the bowl of Crispix all poured before I realized I was out of milk. I actually said, out loud, Oh, how awful! in a really whiny voice and then proceeded to consume the bowl without milk.

The welcome screen

2008-05-15T19:54:00.004-05:00

During my semester in DC, I took a journalism class. The instructor had a really strange set of professional experiences before becoming a teacher, including a stint with the USA T(otal crap)oday sports section, an unspecified something that led to a close personal friendship with the America's Most Wanted guy, and co-editorship of the AOL welcome screen. She told us that editing the welcome screen was the pinnacle of her journalism career, because it's one of the most-read news sources anywhere. Serious thought goes into selecting headlines that will be irresistible to AOLers--and make them click for more.

Yahoo! Mail has a similar screen full of headlines--most of them leading to trite and annoying stories. And yet I still get suckered in to clicking, even as I'm thinking "no, no, resist, resist!" I hate to let the welcome screen people win, but I did find these two recent stories pretty interesting:

Divorce Wars

The Slump: It's a Guy Thing

All for naught

2008-05-13T21:23:00.003-05:00

In case you're wondering what I've been up to (there are also a whole bunch of bloggers who will provide more excruciating detail). I guess there is still a shred of hope, albeit a small one. On the bright side, a total breakdown in negotiations might free up my weekend considerably.

Oh, here's a funny session moment I forgot to post a long time ago.

And finally, I find the public discussion on the Governor's "sex joke" to be really entertaining. According to the Strib, "speculation is rife whether Pawlenty's wisecrack about his sex life was a gaffe or a calculated political move." A calculated political move? Really? I mean, really? I propose we channel all the energy spent on useless and absurd punditry into something more productive, like ending world hunger or building capacity for rapid disaster response in Asia.

(and yes, Jim, this post is mostly for you)

Credit!

2008-04-17T20:33:00.006-05:00

So, having recently exercised my credit score to purchase a car, I thought I'd take the time to make sure the old credit report is in order. My cautionary tale: The car dealer initially offered me interest rates in the high 6% to low 7% range, which I thought was way too high. I told them I wouldn't accept anything above 5.5%. They came back almost immediately with rates below 5% and said the reason was my Equifax credit score (which they originally checked) was much lower than my other two scores (which they later used to get the lower rate).

As I suspected, the lower Equifax score was due to that damn hospital in North Carolina that delayed treatment for the worst food poisoning of my life because the admissions woman could not fit my entire DC address into the character limits of the patient information database. She finally got tired of my continuous puking into the bowl they had provided for this purpose, and clearly cut some corners to fit my address in. I never got a bill, they referred it to a collection agency that obviously didn't try too hard to contact me since my phone number is still the same. After discovering it on my credit report two years ago, I promptly paid the debt. And yet there it sits on my credit report making a relatively big difference in my ability to get a good loan.

When I last cleaned up my report two years ago, it was a tedious process. But government saves the day! The feds have since passed laws to make credit reports more accessible and to make closing accounts much easier. So, 20 minutes and some basic information about my current debts later, I just printed (well, actually CutePDF-ed) credit reports from all three major companies via this website.

The Equifax report is particularly useful because it describes how different elements of the report contribute to a credit score (and therefore how to avoid low scores). From one of the reports I also found this FTC brochure with more detailed information on managing credit reports (government strikes again!). I found the TransUnion report to be most helpful in cleaning up old accounts--it provides the full account number and phone number of the company holding the account.

My next project: a Target charge card my mom opened in both our names in 1998--still open.

Great find

2008-04-13T19:14:00.006-05:00

My internet addiction led me from a recent post on Sarah's blog to this incredibly interesting site: Action Squad: Minneapolis Urban Adventurers. This group practices urban exploration, which wikipedia defines as "examination of the normally unseen or off-limits parts of human civilization" including abandoned buildings, utility and transit tunnels, and sewers and storm drains. Judging from their website, Action Squad focuses on brewery caves, steam tunnels, and condemned historic buildings. The website carefully describes each "mission" in text and pictures. It's really impressive. And they cite Indian Jones and Goonies as their sources of inspiration, so how could they go wrong?

Oh, and for those of you keeping track, the legislature has moved on from regulating animal chiropractic care to the most important business of regulating beer keg purchase and receipt by scrap metal dealers.

Nerdy internet sample platter

2008-04-01T19:51:00.008-05:00

For all the language arts nerds out there, check out Freerice.com, a site that donates 20 grains of rice to the UN World Food Programme for every correct answer to a vocabulary quiz. Thanks to KT for this great find--timely given the problem with rising rice prices. In response to a skeptical friend of Kate's, I verified there is a link to the site from the UN World Food Programme, so looks legit despite sounding pretty weird. I donated 220 grains on my first try (lost on hoosegow, which means "jail") and my highest vocab level so far is 44. I will certainly devote some quality time tonight to beating those records.

For all the economics-, news junkie-, or general-purpose nerds, I think you'll enjoy this Marketplace segment on the coming economic stimulus payments. What's really incredible is that they got former labor secretary Robert Reich to comment for the story.

Wine-Buyer Freedom Day

2008-03-27T21:16:00.004-05:00

Have any plans for August 31st? Join me!

A provision in the current state House budget balancing bill would allow liquor stores within a certain distance from the Xcel Energy Center to open for business on the Sunday during the Republican National Convention. (Bars could also remain open until 4am the whole week).

If this provision passes, I hope you will join me in a most triumphant purchase of wine on the Lord's day. I might buy some tequila too, for good measure. Because, really, why the fuck can't we buy liquor on Sundays? Should we have imposed the smoking ban on every day except Monday?

Economics

2008-03-20T19:02:00.005-05:00

So I'm wishing I'd paid more attention in my 1.5 semesters of macroeconomics--because that's where all the action is right now. It sure would be an interesting time to work at the Fed. For the nerds and/or procrastinators out there (which pretty much encompasses all of you), All Things Considered had a great segment this afternoon on the basics of the Bear Stearns collapse.

And on the microeconomics front, Marketplace had a good segment on Islamic bonds today also. In a nutshell, Islamic law forbids earning interest when one loans money. So a whole industry has developed to work around this most inconvenient of laws. The issue has been at the forefront for me recently because I'm doing taxes at a building almost entirely populated by people who are Somali (almost all Muslim) or Oromo (many of whom are Muslim). Because the IRS says I have to, I dutifully ask each person if he or she earns interest from any sources--which usually elicits a look of horror. This week a guy actually looked scared when I asked, and then got all defensive and said his bank started giving him interest unbidden so he of course called immediately to cancel the account. Um, don't worry buddy, I'm not going to report you to the Islamic courts. But anyway, the bottom line is I feel like an ass every time I ask.

Not quite right

2008-03-19T23:38:00.003-05:00

Today antiwar groups held a ceremony in the Capitol rotunda to mark five years of war. For over an hour they read the names of each coalition troop killed in Iraq. As I sat in committee down the hall, I could hear the gong sound between each name. Leaving committee, I was struck by the accompanying visual display--a circle of combat boots and civilian shoes standing empty.

...And then I caught sight of a video feed from another committee on one of the TVs scattered around the capitol for lobbyists to follow floor action. What bill was the committee considering? Senate File 3165: Animal chiropractic care requirements established.

On Michael Vartan

2008-02-29T20:06:00.006-06:00

I heart Michael Vartan. He's hot, he speaks French, and he's a kickass spy (okay, so the last one is just in the dreamworld where he exists for me). Given my love for Michael Vartan, I was very sad when I saw him on Jimmy Kimmel Live once (which I taped just to see MV, oh yes) and learned he is kind of a ditz. He made Kimmel look like a good conversationalist. It was so bad that I had to rewatch two seasons of Alias to get MV back to the dreamworld state of hotness that I rely on.

The whole incident reminded me of my last crush gone bad. I'm not a crush kind of girl, and I don't get them really ever. But somehow during college I developed a very girlish crush on a guy I knew vaguely--he was a friend my roommate's friends and when some of us started playing four-square in front of Kagin after lunch he joined in once or twice.

At the Alma if you didn't start drinking by at least 2pm on Saturdays you were woefully behind. Not being much of an afternoon drinker, I often got roped into driving drunk people around on Saturday nights--being the only one sober enough to even consider operating machinery.

This is how I came to be driving the object of my crush to a famous (although apparently hard to find) skinny-dipping spot in Minneapolis. He rode in the passenger seat, with a bunch of his drunk-ass friends in the back. Perfect opportunity, right? Not so much--within minutes I realized he was completely uninteresting and unhot. Conversation was painful, which made the 40 minutes of driving around to find the skinny-dipping spot (don't worry, he "totally knew where it was") highly annoying. Needless to say, that was the end of the crush.

I take it back

2008-02-29T19:44:00.005-06:00

It's Friday. I'm exhausted. So I have just enough brainpower left, thanks to Mindy's comment, to ponder life's most important question: Was the last season of Alias the all-time worst ending to a good TV show? Or was it the last few episodes of Felicity--you know, where her Wiccan roommate sent her back in time for an alternate ending?

After much thought, I have to go with Felicity, because introducing magic and time-travel was just a tad inconsistent with the girl-follows-boy-to-college-and-has-the-normal-early-
twenties-crisis-of-identity plotline.

But here's the real shocker: IMDB tells me that JJ Abrams is one of the creators of Felicity! That's it, I officially recant my forgiveness. I simply cannot forgive someone who is responsible for the last season of Alias, the end of Felicity, AND Mission Impossible 3. With great brilliance comes great responsibility to use it for the forces of good. You, JJ, clearly cannot be trusted with such brilliance.

(Let's also note that Keri Russell was party to two of the three JJ Abrams failures. So she sucks without any redemption.)

Love ya, JJ (You are officially forgiven for Mission Impossible 3)

2008-02-28T22:40:00.005-06:00

I thought Lost was truly excellent tonight. Hearkens back to the good old days of Seasons 1 and 2--and the dramatic turns in Season 2 of Alias.

Thoughts?

Follow up

2008-02-18T19:22:00.004-06:00

I'm not dead: The scary voices upstairs were indeed MPR playing on the alarm clock, not someone waiting in a closet to kill me (I know, you're surprised). I was relieved, until I realized the clock/radio was turned off...and yet the voices continued. It was totally a Lost episode in my bedroom. I shook the clock a few times and water poured out of the speaker--leading me to believe certain cats had some fun with a certain half-empty glass of water on the bedside table.

I chickened out, sorta: I did not buy the neti pot. I could not get over the fear. One of the budget ladies convinced me that an Americanized nasal irrigation kit would be less intimidating. I bought one, I tried it, and it was terrible. The gross -ness, the water draining, the sensation--it was awful and I felt worse afterwards. I'm trying to convince myself to give it another go, but so far no luck. Rach, yes it was mostly that woman's vacant look that scared me away. Katie, any tips on how to make this work?

I'm freaked out

2008-02-14T22:40:00.008-06:00

Earlier I noticed that my bed-side alarm clock was set 15 minutes ahead, which is weird because I don't recall it being wrong this morning. Due to my intense fear of the dark and the creepy Lost episode I watched tonight, my paranoia is running high. So of course my first thought was someone had broken in and changed my clock to mess with me and this same person would very soon jump out of a closet to assault me. I managed to convince myself I was crazy, and came downstairs to sit on the couch--you know, like a normal person. But moments ago I started hearing strange voices coming from upstairs, and I am again sure that I'm going to die.

Intellectually I realize that it must be the radio alarm going off, playing MPR--it has probably been going off intermittently since this morning when I forgot to turn it off. If it's measuring the time since I woke up, that would explain the incorrect time. Unfortunately, I cannot convince myself this is true. I am at this moment quite sure someone is waiting to kill me.

So while I work up the nerve to go upstairs, I'll share that I'm also freaked out by the neti pot. My stupid sinus pain is interfering with sleep, work, and general life. Plus Paul is sick of my bitching. Since western medicine is not working, I'm seriously considering an "alternative." Apparently the eastern solution is nasal irrigation. Sounds all well and good, until you watch this:

I'm going to buy one tomorrow. I could use some encouragement, because at this point I'm afraid of actually using it.

Roundup

2008-02-10T22:38:00.000-06:00

The Strib did a particularly nice job on the Sunday paper today. A few gems:

Amid soaring grain prices, a dying cry: A business section feature on the Minneapolis Grain Exchange, accompanied by an opinion section feature on the nostalgia-inducing Grain Exchange Building. I think futures markets are pretty fascinating, and the Grain Exchange particularly so. I agree that the Grain Exchange building is really cool, although the opinion piece did nothing for me beyond the pictures.

High-tech sweat: A North St. Paul community center opens the first XRKade, or exercise gaming facility, in the state as a way to attract teens and promote exercise. Besides being a great idea, what's most interesting is that the author describes the idea for XRKade as coming from a city official (unclear whether it's the city manager quoted or somebody else). New, good ideas are rare in government--so that's exciting to see.

While U of M sleeps, our military leaders are born: This is notable only because it marks the first time Katherine Kersten (hired to represent the "conservative" viewpoint) has managed to produce an informative piece that extols a nominally conservative virtue without bashing anyone (well, indirect bashing of the remaining U students and the idea that only conservatives support the military aside). I have no trouble with the Strib hiring someone to represent the conservative viewpoint (although I would prefer they devote energy to less biased coverage throughout the paper instead), but I do object to it being done poorly. On a sidenote, I would like to take a military decision-making class; that sounds interesting.

Some ideas are confusing

2008-02-08T23:52:00.000-06:00

Have you ever noticed the Atlantic Buffet in Bloomington? Big yellow sign, south side of 494, proclaiming itself to be a sushi/Mongolian restaurant?

So I ask you, if Mongolia is landlocked and sushi was invented in Japan which is very much in the Pacific Ocean, how did they settle on the name Atlantic Buffet?

It's coming

2008-02-06T21:11:00.001-06:00

I heard this commentary on All Things Considered tonight, and thought it was funny and well done. It's only about 4 minutes.

Some ideas are bad

2008-02-06T21:03:00.001-06:00

A prolific blogger reminded me of the biggest unanswered question coming out of Super Tuesday: Were Romney supporters waving mitts and batts at his not-a-total-failure-
but-not-remotely-a-victory speech?

Mitts for Mitt? See for yourself (you can see one in the still, but get a better look at 00:16):

And not just because...

2008-02-04T19:30:00.000-06:00

...Eli reminds me of a scruffy new puppy or a well-loved teddy bear, but because I know many of you are fans:

(I borrowed this from youtube because Animal Planet unwisely did not provide embedded links in its fine series of videos from the big game, complete with the kitty half time show.)

But on the actual game, an AP reporter described it best: "It was a scintillating closing chapter to a crazy week that seemed to have everything: the perfect team; the upstart underdogs; the cover boy quarterback in the Patriots' Tom Brady; the kid brother in Manning." By far the best moment was when they cut to Eli at the end and his look clearly said, "f%#k...I just won the Superbowl...wow."

In comparison I found the commercials quite lackluster. I have to disagree with Cyndy and say that Coca-Cola was the only company that brought it this year (both Jinx and It's Mine), with an honorable mention to Audi and Bud Light for remembering their audience.

Your NFL picks

2008-01-14T18:52:00.000-06:00

In honor of the upcoming NFL conference championships, let's do a little poll. Let's also pretend blog polls have instant runoff voting--so each person should vote for first and second choices.

To aid in your decision-making, here are some pics courtesy of various people on the world wide web:

Brady

Culpepper

Favre

Jackson

E Manning

P Manning

Romo

Thanks to the budget ladies, particularly the dancer and the Packer fan, for launching a lengthy conversation on this topic today.

Shout out: to these people

2008-01-14T18:18:00.000-06:00

(credit to BHR for finding this little gem)

Research

2008-01-12T20:25:00.000-06:00

I'm officially undecided, and it's fast becoming time to decide. It pretty much boils down to this versus this. Within the context of things like this and this. Either one who says things like this, or one who says things like this. Which is a link-filled way of saying that research has gotten me nowhere.

I sucked at geometry

2008-01-08T22:10:00.001-06:00

Please bear with me. I'm going to draw a parallel where there really is none.

While driving home from work listening to pre-NH poll closing babble on how Iowa was a referendum on change vs. experience, it occurred to me that Hillary Rodham Clinton must feel like she just can't win. Dreamy Bill asked her to fix health care within months of his election, which she tried pretty valiantly to do, but then she got yanked for not having enough Washington experience to do it right. So she went out and got a bunch of Washington experience, and then got yanked in Iowa for it.

While trying not to hit the big scary post in the garage listening to a Writers Guild guy walk the line between calling Jon Stewart a scab and sticking it to Big Media, it occurred to me that the very thing writers are striking about--the proliferation of TV content on DVD and the internet (for which they apparently don't get paid directly)--is what is preventing a popular backlash against the media corporations. So TV stations aren't airing new shows? Well, I'll just pop in the Gilmore Girls first season and fire up My So-Called Life reruns on ABC.com. Problem solved, strike be damned.

That was the parallel. Careful, if you blink you miss it.

Yes, this is me.

2008-01-08T22:06:00.001-06:00

I have finally recovered from graduate school...

2008-01-08T00:05:00.000-06:00

...and started reading for pleasure again. It took me a good, solid year after graduation to not feel like vomiting when I picked up a book.

To celebrate I jumped on the bandwagon that is Shelfari. I am trying to recall books that caught my attention at various points in my life, and add descriptions of why they did so. Oh, and I haven't worked out the whole making book-nerd friends part yet, so bear with me on that.

Les anes et les elephants

2008-01-07T23:55:00.000-06:00

Most pre-, mid-, and post-election commentary is crap. Not that I know any better, but I don't get paid to sit around and think about elections all day.

In contrast to all the crap, I found this commentary by David Brooks to be a very plausible and well-reasoned discussion of the Iowa results. (This is the NYT version; I read the Strib reprint which for no apparent reason has a different title.)

Because you gave me such crap...

2008-01-07T23:46:00.000-06:00

...about my poor blogging performance (you know who you are), I'm going to post 3 times today. So there.

This post is about my soccer team. We didn't lose our first game!

Go Tigers!

Yeah, I know. I'm boring.

2007-12-03T20:23:00.000-06:00

In order to push reading the paper ahead of work and minutiae, I will share two interesting articles from the past week.

First, an article about Sagis Corp, a new MN company that helps businesses capture and transfer knowledge from retiring employees. This is going to be a big market, so props to these guys for getting in early (although they should definitely ditch the lame picture). When I get out of the public policy game, this is totally what I want to do. Have I mentioned recently that the business section is by far the best part of the Star Tribune, especially on Mondays? Well, it is.

Second, another addition to the "just released health study" story. I try not to put too much stock in these stories, but I found this one --on the possible connection between flu shots for pregnant women and schizophrenia in their children--pretty interesting. While on the topic, I have been enjoying the NYT health coverage of late, especially the stories filed under research.

Kindness of strangers

2007-11-26T21:55:00.000-06:00

Tonight I purchased a bevy of drugs at the local Walgreens. While waiting for the amoxicillin, I had time to read through labels for the accompanying nasal spray and Mucinex. The former prompted a lengthy consideration of how much squeezing constitutes a single "spray" from the bottle and the latter got me wondering if the name is just exact enough to be perfect or too gross to be effective.

"Have you ever taken that before?" piped up the only other customer in the waiting area, gesturing to the Mucinex box.

"Nope, first time."

"Well, it makes your urine smell just awful! I just don't know what they put in there." she continued, looking surprisingly young and normal to be discussing body fluids with a stranger.

"Thanks for the tip. Good to know, I guess."

I can admit when I'm wrong

2007-10-29T22:41:00.001-05:00

In a word, perfect

2007-10-15T20:50:00.001-05:00

There's too much to fit into one post so I plan to do a series. A week's vacation has almost entirely killed my motivation, though, so we'll see.

As you might expect, the ocean views are the best part of Barbados. All the beaches are public--no walled compounds--so we were able to wander along them easily. Because it's low season, we often had beaches to ourselves.

Our beach

Six Men's Bay

The soup bowl

Bottom Bay

Really?

2007-09-11T23:02:00.000-05:00

So, earlier this week I heard this story about a Texas city attorney who after 9-11 vowed to wear a single patriotic tie until Osama bin Laden was captured or dead. Nearly six years later his tie is so tattered the guy declared he would stop wearing it unless Osama proved he was alive by 9-11-07. A day or two later bin Laden pulled through with a new tape proclaiming the usual praise for terrorists and violence to western heathens. Coincidence?

In other news, MPR reported that a U of M study found a link between a certain amino acid and gambling addiction. The study was too small to be statistically significant, but the scientist folks think taking the amino acid supplement could reduce addictive behavior. I'm totally weirded out by the idea that we will eventually be able to chemically alter all aspects of our behavior, right on down to basic personality characteristics.

Shout out to the (famous) men in my life

2007-09-06T22:50:00.000-05:00

It was a big night for TV. Both of the (famous) men in my life were on, and in fine, fine form.

First, Jon Stewart presented a great (rerun) interview with Barack Obama. The best question:

Do you feel like you're stuck in a narrative now, and the narrative is that Hilary Clinton is unlikeable but knows what she's doing and Obama is inexperienced but brings change--and no matter what you do, because [these scenarios are] easily categorized, the media or everyone else will just slip whatever happens into [that narrative]?

It's at 2:29 in part 1. I'd recommend part 2 also. By the way, I asked Paul the other night if Jon Stewart could be my free pass, to which he replied, "What does that mean?" Apparently the concept of a free pass is not universal. After I explained, he did not look too happy at the thought, even though I pointed out the probability is low that Jon Stewart would cross my path and agree to sex.

Second, Peyton Manning played some gorgeous football against the Saints. Sorry Brett Favre, but there's a new QB in my life. As some of you know, I was auditioning last season for a new quarterback love. I was holding out for Eli Manning to come into his own because he is so darn cute. But at the end of the day Peyton is just a superior player and stirs all the old feelings from the days before Brett threw a million interceptions per game. Commentator Al Michaels also mentioned that Indianapolis is the most homegrown team in the league, with only four Colts having played for other NFL teams. I like that. Similar to how Green Bay residents own shares in the Packers.

Clockwork

2007-09-06T22:37:00.001-05:00

For those of you keeping score at home, I charged plane tickets to Boston and the second Barbados payment on my WF credit card this week. Which of course prompted a call from the monotone computer voice asking me to verify charges. I should be glad they're protecting me from identity theft, but really it just feels like Big Brother has declared travel illegal.

Kitters and Chubbers

2007-09-05T23:27:00.001-05:00

Paul can't remember my cats' names most of the time so he refers to them collectively as "kitters" and individually as "chubbers" (Audrey) and "the male" (Jackson). They love him anyway, but mostly because he is unpracticed in the art of living with cats. He's such an easy target--for everything from tripping and covering in fur, to full-scale restroom-use-interruption tactics.

This past weekend, the kitters decided to escalate. After a lengthy beer pong tournament on Sunday night, Paul passed out on my couch. The next morning I noticed his arm was covered in bright red scratches. We're talking a 4 inch by 1.5 inch area of skin full of claw marks. He has absolutely no recollection of tangling with the cats, but I thought I saw a proud glint in Audrey's eye.

She got her comeuppance, though. While trying a clever new launch off the speaker, Audrey miscalculated the landing and ended up wedged between the TV stand and the wall--feet dangling just out of reach of the floor. I just about died laughing, and received a very miffed look. The extraction process was complicated, so I took a moment to capture it midway:

(The intended landing site was the patch of wood to her right. By this point she had managed to back her ass onto the speaker, but hadn't found traction for any paws. I eventually had to haul her out upside down by the front legs.)

You can just see part of Jackson--who was sitting unhelpfully on the speaker giving her a look like, "oh, wow...geez...that's too bad..."

Speaking of happy

2007-09-04T21:32:00.000-05:00

I stole this picture from Go Fug Yourself because of how incredibly happy Suri and her mom look:

Tonight I saw a child walking down the street hand in hand with his mom. He had the most gleeful smile on his face--likely was related to the giant green lizard costume he was wearing. You have to wonder if mom lost the "what should I wear today" battle on the first day of prekindergarten.

I appreciated the reminder from Suri and lizard-boy: happiness is uncomplicated.

A is for apple

2007-09-04T19:37:00.000-05:00

In honor of the first day of school for all my teacher friends, I'd like to comment on a Strib story about the new Shakopee High School. After several paragraphs describing how the new school design will better serve students and community members, the article reads:

Although mostly pleased with the way the school turned out, Tomczik noted that you can't always get everything you want. Teachers' lounges, for instance, are small and unappealing. And because of the small learning pods, there are no centralized departments for specific subjects.

In short, the new design fails to recognize that a school is also a workplace. Now I know it's all about the kids, but research shows good teaching is the second most important factor in student achievement after the kids' own families and experiences. And I would hazard a guess that happy teachers are better teachers. So I'm just saying I'd probably try to accommodate their needs a weensy bit.

(It is quite possible the Shakopee design does provide some nice features for teachers that were not covered in this article. If so, I apologize to Shakopee for using it as an example of a wider problem.)

Bus Tales

2007-08-27T20:12:00.000-05:00

At Anne's suggestion, I submitted a story to a relatively new website called Bus Tales. In the vein of Overheard in Minneapolis, it's a place where people can post about experiences they've had on Metro Transit buses.

Most of you have heard this story before, but if you want to see it up in lights, you can check it out: Do You Know Her? It's worth it just to see how great the labels are for my post.

I submitted another story and have a few more planned, so stay tuned.

W(t)F

2007-08-23T22:28:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, I loathe Wells Fargo. I bank there, because it's the only one that allows me to do all my transactions at SuperAmerica ATMs. Other than this unbeatable convenience, WF is evil. They have caused me all manner of problems--too numerous to count, really. Raising the minimum balance without notice then charging ridiculous fees, having an annoying computer call to verify charges every time I buy a plane ticket and blocking the transaction altogether if I buy from nwa.com, plus all the horrors of the phone bank. I realize it's my own damn fault for not changing banks, but I want to complain anyway.

Oh, and to top it off they're pretty much the number one predatory lender in America. (Plus they're snapping up yummy subprime mortgages at low rates as the less successful subprime lenders go under.)

But this is my favorite. Today I got a letter saying they have put a recent deposit on hold because: (1) doubt as to whether the check will be paid by the institution on which it is drawn, (2) length of time the account has been open, or (3) frequency of overdrafts or returned checks on the account. Yeah, so this check is drawn on the State of Minnesota (I can personally vouch for the fact that MN is good for it), deposited to a savings account opened in the early 90's, from which there have been (by dint of being a savings account) a total of zero overdrafts and returned checks.

Good work, team.

Thank you, Al Gore!

2007-08-22T22:54:00.001-05:00

Who doesn't love a little time-wasting on the internet? In honor of a completely useless evening of television, junk food, and internet surfing, I bring you links from websites I have recently discovered.

Urban Dictionary
A very handy slang wiktionary. Harkens back to my nerdy linguistics major friends talking about whether dictionaries would move toward a more organic view of new word development. I'd say that ship has sailed, no?

Twin Cities Green Guide
Just like it sounds--help being more green. So your liberal alma mater doesn't disown you.

Food Network
Paul will laugh if he sees this on here because I never cook. But I am infatuated with this website. Whoever designed it should win an award. It is perfectly designed to answer the overwhelmingly broad question, "what should I make?" by giving you a million different ways to wander your way to a recipe.

Vacation in MSP

2007-08-19T22:42:00.000-05:00

Paul and I needed some quality time together but didn't want the hassle of leaving town. So taking a tip from friends Britta and Matt, we vacationed in good ol' MSP. Many forces conspired against us--rainy weather, rampant road closures, and even a funeral--but we still managed to enjoy a nice vacation.

Friday we had dinner at the duplex. I'm pretty sure it used to be the coffee shop Pandora's Box. They make an f'ing good pork loin and the mixed green salad was excellent. Even a state senator sighting couldn't ruin the ambiance.

photo courtesy of theduplex

Saturday we toured the James J. Hill House in St. Paul. Mr. Hill had $63 million when he died in 1916 so you can imagine how amazing his house is. Highlights: an absolutely beautiful organ, gorgeous carved wood on about every surface, some seriously fine Tiffany productions, and lots of early 19th century gadgetry.

photo courtesy of MN Historical Society

Sunday we saw the Picasso and American Art exhibit at the Walker. When you go, because you must--even the Walker doesn't get shows like this every day--I recommend the free iPod audio guide instead of the tour.

photo courtesy of Wet Paint

That certain je ne sais quoi

2007-08-13T22:28:00.000-05:00

I thought this commentary about the Minnesotan response to the bridge disaster was really well done. Starting with a quote from The Abyss, how could you go wrong?

Seriously, though, I don't think we're as idyllic as all that, but there is something indescribable about this place and its inhabitants. People try--and frequently fail--to capture it properly. I think this commentary comes closer than most to getting it right.

Photo courtesy of Letterboxing Minnesota

Follower

2007-08-13T22:14:00.000-05:00

First my grandmother beat me to the internet--the first time I googled myself there was nary a mention of me, but there was a full color article in the Wheaton College, Mass, online newsletter about my grandmother.

Then my mother beat me to the op-ed page. I have written letter after letter to the editor, but nary a one has made the paper. Mom had a letter published in the Charleston Post and Courier last week. (They butchered her letter, as is normally the case with letters to the editor, but it's still pretty cool. Plus she's totally right--you would be aghast at the lack of infrastructure in her county.)

I have now made it to the internet, but still yearn for the day one of my highly intelligent and very timely letters will make it into the Strib.

Target audience?

2007-08-09T21:17:00.000-05:00

While doing some very serious online research prompted by Anne's post about tupperware, I came upon this:

The
Gladware
Interlocker
Game

How much do you think Glad paid the makers of Bejeweled to produce this little gem? When it comes out of beta I would suggest less obnoxious music.

Also, isn't it just like humans to create such a boundless invention as the internet and then fill it with crap like a tupperware game?

The story

2007-08-07T22:08:00.001-05:00

Tonight while noodling my way through St. Paul to avoid the now ever-present traffic on 280, I heard a really interesting show on MPR. It's called The Story, and features lengthy interviews with regular folks.

Yup, that's it. Regular folks...telling their stories. According to its website, the show tries to get at major topics of the day--like Iraq, health care, and politics--by letting individual soldiers, doctors, and voters talk about their lives. They intentionally do not interview think tank people, market analysts, or politicians.

While listening to a woman named Nancy talk about growing up in the family business, I realized how truly disenchanted I am with mainstream news. Perhaps finally disenchanted enough to seek out alternatives. I just feel like there is a gaping hole--so much beneath the surface of every issue that doesn't come out in most news coverage. I finally understand why my dad has turned to current event blogs and cannot fathom why I still rely mostly on newspapers. But I find those blogs are often full of even less-informed punditry than the mainstream media stories. A recent FutureTense story got me thinking that citizen journalism may meet my needs more. The brief story highlighted how actively citizen journalists are covering the bridge collapse, and it rang very true. I had already turned to citizen journalists to fill in the gaps in news coverage--by searching youtube videos and reading personal blogs.

Seeking out more individual stories/citizen journalism could help with one of my main beefs about mainstream media. Most news outlets are under such pressure to get stories out quickly, those stories end up developing on air or in print. So the facts seem to change from moment to moment, making the final version much less credible. Citizen journalism and individual stories seem like better ways to fill the need for immediate information. Since they're obviously and intentionally subjective, they don't need revision like factual news stories. People's own experiences and initial interpretations will still be valid regardless of the facts uncovered later.

So (long-winded, wandering) story short: I obviously need newspapers for the basic facts, but I think I'll try out this world of citizen journalism and individual stories to see if it fills the gaping hole left by mainstream media--particularly while waiting for regular news outlets to get their stories straight after major events.

Speaking of new frontiers

2007-07-30T21:52:00.000-05:00

For all you omnivores and connectors out there, here's an interesting news story. Since one of these links will inevitably break, here are a few more: MPR, CNNMoney, and TechLawBlog. I don't know quite what I think about all this yet (especially because I don't use internet on my cell phone), but the Google rep on MPR-Marketplace was pretty convincing.

It is fascinating to watch government regulators react to the rapidly changing technology landscape. We seem to get these whiplash like swings between protecting semi-monopolies and then breaking them. Given the speed of technological development, and the network effect inherent to the tech market, I find the protectionist arguments offered by the cell providers hard to swallow.
_________________________________________________________________
FYI: since the original post, the FCC issued new rules that appear to be a compromise between the Google/openess folks and the Cell phone industry folks.

State Fair fun

2007-07-30T21:34:00.000-05:00

Tonight on Fresh Air, Terri Gross interviewed Frank Owen, the author of a new book on meth. I find meth fascinating (and not just because of the fabulous “Life….Or Meth” billboard on Snelling). I only caught part of the segment, so I did not get my most burning question answered: it seems like there was a huge meth craze in the mid-80s, a relatively long lull, and then another big craze starting in the late 90s-early 00s. Just what happened in between? Am I imagining the lull?

However, Mr. Owen did share an interesting tidbit that may be related to my question. Apparently the meth of yesteryear (which year exactly is unclear despite some half-hearted internet searches) was produced from phenyl-2-propanone (P2P). This complicated process required sophisticated lab equipment and a certain amount of expertise. Since moderately ineffective government intervention is the cornerstone of any good drug story, the federal government launched a successful ban of P2P, prompting the endlessly creative illicit drug manufacturers to change tactics—devising a much more potent form of meth made from everyday medicines in simple home laboratories.

So how does this relate to the Great Minnesota Get-Together? Why, because it is home to the meth information booth of course. Sponsored by county attorneys, the meth booth provides loads of information about meth addiction and the illegal meth trade. There are even former addicts roaming around to answer your own burning questions. I dragged a few friends there last year, but they refused to go inside. Their loss, because it was truly fascinating. Especially when a former addict explained to me the variations of meth you can find in different parts of the state.

Long story short, I plan to read Mr. Owen’s book and report back on what I learn. But in the meantime, visit the meth booth at the State Fair. It’s right next to the sweet corn--you can’t miss it.

(photo courtesy of MN County Attorneys Association)

New frontier?

2007-07-24T23:31:00.000-05:00

Last night I received a spam text message. Apparently some stock (PBHX?) is about "to go through the!"

I'm assuming "roof" was accidentally omitted. The message indicated it came from AOL, but the specific sender was identified only by a series of digits that do not comprise a full phone number.

This seems like an inefficient way to get the word out about a favored stock. Is text messaging the new frontier for spam? Is this a common occurrence?

Elevator trauma and other stories

2007-07-20T22:27:00.001-05:00

Riding the elevator is the most traumatic part of my job for two reasons:

First, while most of the budget folks work with agencies safely ensconced in other buildings, my agencies are largely housed in our same building. This means I cannot park my car, ride the elevator, or go to the cafeteria without awkward conversations. If I decide to wear jeans on Friday? Of course I run into commissioners from my agencies. But the elevator encounters are definitely the worst--because there is no escape.

Second, our building is full of stalkerish creepy guys who enjoy the twenty-something budget ladies. And they seem to spend a lot of time in the elevators. Case in point: we were enjoying a rare lunch in the first floor cafeteria, when one of the ladies spotted a creepy stranger from another agency who had struck up an elevator conversation with her a few weeks prior.

Creepy stranger: Hi, how are you doing?

Budget lady: Uh, fine.

Stranger: So, how do you like working here?

Budget lady, wondering how he knows where "here" is: Uh, fine. How do you like it?

Stranger: Well, I like it okay but I've been here six years already. You've only been here about two years, right?

Budget lady, now thoroughly creeped out: Yup.

Stranger: That must mean you're leaving soon--the young women around here usually leave after a year or two.

Budget lady: Oh, look, there's my floor.

A few days later they shared another awkward elevator conversation, at which time she pointedly brought up her long-term boyfriend. Almost that same day, I had the following exchange in the elevator:

Creepy stranger: Hi, did you get Lasik surgery?

Me: Uh, no. I'm just wearing contacts.

What I really wanted to say was, "So YOU must be the creepy guy that tracks our movements!" But since his name badge indicated he works for one of my agencies, alas, I did not.

In related news, overly friendly IT guy stopped me in the hall today to say, "Curly! I like it!" in reference to my new hairdo. It was uncomfortable, and I'm pretty sure I heard two other budget ladies snickering about it in a nearby cube afterward.

Picking a horse

2007-07-19T20:54:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, Maggie and Rachel showed me how to bet on the ponies at Canterbury. This was especially kind of Rach after she endured a day-long tour of the entire operations of the state agency that regulates horse racing. Seriously, ask me anything about regulating a racetrack--I have now seen it all.

While playing the ponies was fun and exciting, it got me thinking about the more daunting work of picking a candidate for president. While I am still smarting from the last few times state and federal Dems chose candidates (um, can you say Mike Hatch and John Kerry?), I am cheered greatly by the fact that I don't hate any of the current front-runners for president. But I am struggling to chose a favorite among them. Here's where I am right now--any thoughts on the matter are most welcome.

Johnny Boy - As most of you know, I threw in with this guy early on last time and still do not regret it. While reading his billionth quote about"Two Americas" in the paper last week it hit me--his antipoverty stance must be totally sincere. Last time around an antipoverty platform helped catapult him to success (with some help from nice eyes, great hair, and a drawl). This year it is barely making headlines. If it wasn't sincere I think he would have changed tactics long ago. It's really too bad no one gets jazzed up about alleviating poverty, and there's the whole being a millionaire lawyer problem. But I can't help it, I still like the guy--and his politics. I can also tell you from personal experience that those caucus-going Iowans love good ol' Johnny Boy like he was their long-lost grandson.

Ms. Rodham - I just have such mixed feelings about her. On the one hand she is the only front-runner with enough experience to really understand Washington. But this doesn't seem to help her get much done. I think she's a really smart lady, and am not ashamed to admit I'd vote for her solely because she is a woman (and it doesn't hurt that she's married to Billy). But I can't help feeling like she is the John Kerry of 2008--and given how much I thought he sucked as a candidate that comparison is really bringing her down in my book.

BaRock! - I like that he's one smart dude, and the most Clintonesque well-spoken. Bonus points for being (somewhat) midwestern. I know they're all lawyers, but his particular focus on civil rights and constitutional law would be a good mix for a president. I'm marking him down on electability, though, because I think he is the Edwards of 2008. Even if he is qualified to be president, people will think he isn't and choose the "experienced" candidate who so totally lacks pizazz to the point where all a Republican has to do to win is walk upright unassisted.

So, there you have it. These early thoughts are obviously based on broad generalizations about the candidates--which would normally be enough to weed out a few folks this early in the race. But perhaps that won't work this year, and a closer look at policy positions is required. Too bad folks who run for national office typically avoid policy positions.

Juror #5

2007-07-17T21:53:00.000-05:00

Yes, that would be me. After winning the lottery yesterday (I was one of only 19 people sent home after 2 hours), I was "sat on a jury" today. And it might just be the most unrepresentative jury of all time--6 white mostly suburban women in their 20s and 40s. Ramsey County is pretty darn diverse, and they draw from voter, driver, and state ID records. So where are they hiding all the men and people of color?

Anyhoo, today we made it through jury selection and what I can only hope is half of the testimony. I would rate jury selection as fascinating, and your basic run-of-the-mill civil case proceedings as slightly more interesting than televised golf. I spent most of my time watching the judge, who has a terrible poker face. It's quite clear when she thinks an attorney is taking (or failing to object to) a stupid line of questioning or when she thinks a witness is a complete bozo. Plus there was much yawning and rubbing of her eyes (we're talking elbows on the desk, fingers stuffed behind glasses, vigorous rubbing).

I also spent about 30 minutes making a mental pro-con list on whether to make a bid for forewoman. I have visions of pulling a total 12 Angry Men.

Dear delegate

2007-07-10T20:38:00.000-05:00

And so it begins, the long (long, long) political campaign season. Newspaper articles on major candidates have grown too numerous to ignore. Junk mail arrives at least once a week from would-be elected officials. At some point soon the TV commercials will reach even the political backwaters of Minnesota.

I'm sure I will have many more complaints along the way, but for now I have just one plea: check your grammar before sending me crap! Take for example the first sentence of a letter from Mike Ciresi for Senate:

There is a deep concern among Minnesotans about the course that our state and nation is taking.

Or the first sentence of a letter I received last season from Matt Entenza's campaign:

In the tradition of great Minnesota attorney generals...

(It would have been much less egregious if he was running for some other post.) So please, candidates, find an English teacher or a really nerdy friend to read your letters before you print a thousand copies.

A good time was had by all

2007-07-06T23:54:00.000-05:00

(photo courtesy of wikipedia)

I love this place.

Health care = fun, redux

2007-07-06T23:36:00.000-05:00

To top off my week of fun with health care, the mothership called on Friday.

Soft-voiced woman: "Um, ah, I'm looking for.....Abigoyle Read?

Me: This is she.

Woman: I'm calling on behalf of Dr. Bharucha at the Mayo Clinic...do you remember seeing him?

Me: (Wondering if this is a test) Yes, I was just there on Tuesday.

Woman: Well, he wants to make sure you got the breast imaging he recommended.

Me: Uh, he specializes in colon issues so I imagine he doesn't recommend much breast imaging. Also, he's not my actual doctor--he just conducted a colon procedure.

Woman: Oh, dear.

The Mothership

2007-06-26T19:49:00.000-05:00

This week my colon went on vacation to the mothership of medicine. Mr. Colon saw lots of interesting people and places, and he’s quite tired from all the fun. He has some highlights and lowlights to share, but first to set the scene.

At the mothership, all of the staff look shiny and happy--from the surgeons right on down to the guy who wipes the floors. Speaking of the guy who wipes the floors, he and his other service colleagues wear vests and ties like the concierge at a fine hotel. In fact, the mothership resembles a fine hotel in most respects. The two buildings Mr. Colon visited each featured massive marble lobbies complete with multi-story windows, endless comfortable chairs, free wireless internet, grand pianos, and commissioned art. All paperwork is completed ahead of time and then scanned, so check-in is a breeze. Many patients receive pagers so they can roam while they wait for the doctor. The full-service ground transportation center helps thousands of slow-moving patients enter and exit the mothership effortlessly.

But anyway, back to highlights Mr. Colon’s trip:

The aforementioned lobbies, especially the one with the calming fountain.
Watching hundreds of senior citizens storm the doors of the main building when it opened at 6:30 am. Those old folks were moving fast despite all manner of physical ailments.
When Mr. Colon crushed Mr. Balloon, and the resulting spike in pressure caused a computer system failure accompanied by 45 minutes of obnoxiously loud beeping (this counts as a highlight because it cut an 8-hour ordeal short by a good 30 minutes).
Being forced to eat a gigantic thousand-calorie chocolate malt after fasting for a day and a half.
Mr. Colon's moment of triumph when he learned that he functions just fine; he can blame everything on Ms. Confused Pelvic Muscle.

Of course there were some lowlights, too:

Lying almost completely still for 6 hours, broken up only by medication that caused uncontrollable twitching and nausea.
When the Thing We Do Not Speak Of inserted Mr. Balloon without any of the normal happy drugs (because Mr. Colon is lazy when he's high).
One doctor, two residents, and one nurse all peering up Mr. Colon at the same time.
When stupid host body cried inconsolably while the nice resident tried to take her medical history.
(The pain that comes after) being forced to eat a gigantic thousand-calorie chocolate malt after fasting for a day and a half.

Health care = fun

2007-06-22T23:22:00.000-05:00

I spent about an hour today navigating my health insurance pre-approval process. But that’s not the story. The story is: a few days ago my primary care clinic informed me that I am overdue for my regular Hemoglobin Alc test. Apparently this test is essential to the proper care of my diabetes, and I should set up an appointment immediately. Trouble is, I don’t have diabetes.

So, dutiful citizen that I am, I called the clinic just in case: (a) there is some other forgetful person in dire need of Hemoglobin Alc-checking, or (b) I have been tested for and diagnosed with diabetes without my knowledge. But I really called because of: (c) a really nerdy reason to be explained below.

I was passed around to four different people, until finally someone cared enough to look into it. She called me back to explain that I am overdue for an eye exam, so I should reread the letter because it was probably instructing me to make an eye appointment. Oh, yes, I am SURE I mistook the words, “biweekly Hemoglobin Alc test” for “annual eye exam.” They are so close.

Officially pissed off by that point, I launched into an explanation of why this is not just any old clerical error, but a significant issue that could affect their quality ratings and eventually the cost to patients like me. (Basically, a nonprofit rates health care quality based on indicators including diabetes treatment, specifically maintaining a Hemoglobin Alc less than 7.0%. Currently the state bases clinic cost levels (copays and deductibles) solely on cost, but will soon add quality ratings to the scale. Thus, if their testing compliance data is skewed by people who are not in fact diabetic, it could reduce their quality rating and increase my costs.)

As you might imagine, she was very uninterested in this explanation. Best health care system in the world, my ass.

Tidbits

2007-06-13T22:55:00.000-05:00

Today the budget ladies continued our lunch tour of the capitol grounds memorials. While enjoying a cool breeze in the shade of the women's suffrage memorial, we were unceremoniously sprayed by pop-up lawn sprinklers. Controlled by a man who I swear could clearly see us sitting there. Thanks, buddy.

I was half-watching The Colbert Report a minute ago, and he started a bit with, "We're in the 7th year of President Bush's term..." Holy shit. And people wonder why the world is going to hell in a handbasket? It should be pretty darn obvious why. To those who said in the face of doomsday predictions before he was elected, "it's not like he could really ruin the world" I say, "told you so."

While on the way to an office party in Vadnais Heights, I off-roaded it through Shoreview to avoid some horrendous traffic. Turns out Shoreview is really pretty. Who knew? Good thing it's nice because given the traffic on 694 I'm guessing those folks can't get out much.

We all know I have trouble accomplishing things that normal people do all the time without any thought, like sleeping, cooking, folding laundry, and pooping. Well, I would like to report that last night I accomplished, two, count 'em, TWO of these feats. I cooked that chicken curry rice salad for the office party AND slept 7 hours. However, I left my clean laundry in a semi-folded pile on my dresser and the intestines are having a bad week. But half isn't too shabby.

It's like crack

2007-06-13T22:32:00.000-05:00

I learned from a favorite blog that a friend may apply to participate in the Washington Post Magazine feature Date Lab. You have to check out the archives. Seriously, it's like crack. (Well, not the most addictive form of crack served up exclusively by HGTV, but really close.)

Actually made me miss DC for a moment. Don't worry, it passed.

Shout out: Bumper stickers

2007-06-10T20:03:00.000-05:00

I love bumper stickers. It's so great when a particularly witty one makes me chuckle. Today I saw a sticker that read:

Stop Stealing!
The government doesn't like competition.

I happen to believe taxation supports important government services (like, say, fine budget analysis from yours truly, or high quality teaching at certain area high schools). But that bumper sticker is still damn funny. Two other favorites (both seen frequently around the Mac-Groveland neighborhood):

Abstinence Only
No Bush, No Dick in '04

and

Jesus doesn't love you.
And neither do I.

See, I'm chuckling right now.

"Better a bleeding heart than none at all"

2007-06-07T20:23:00.000-05:00

I saw that on a bumper sticker recently (next to an Ole decal). For my fellow Mac-ites and other interested parties, here is a Katherine Kersten rant about the alma. I actually agree with her basic premise (it really would be helpful if conservative viewpoints were included in the debate over there), but find it poorly argued and rather hypocritical coming from someone who was hired solely to write a politically one-sided column.

I particularly enjoyed:

Basing the "good old days" reference on one 60 year-old guy's memory of an event that took place over 40 years ago
The idea that an American studies department that focuses ("overwhelmingly") on race, gender and ethnic minorities is closed-minded (I'm sorry, has she read standard history texts? It's not like people are hurting for knowledge of white male political/war history).
The whole sentence: "Religious holidays are still respected at Macalester, but the concept has expanded." Isn't that the definition of open-minded?
Taking the president's comment, "We work hard to see that the college is a safe place for all reasonable points of view to be expressed" to mean he does not value greater intellectual diversity.

She tried to argue the "Macalester is too closed-minded" point, but really only had support for the unspoken "Macalester is an easy target because it affirms everything I'm paid to write against" point. Anyway, it's too bad she so thoroughly distorted this Peterson guy's valid case for improving academics by promoting intellectual diversity.

Did I mention crazy people seek me out?

2007-05-28T23:08:00.000-05:00

I visited the dumpster room this weekend--that dank, creepy place where trash chutes end and monsters go to die. As usual, I left the door wide open to the underground parking area beyond, just in case a dying monster decided to get smart with me. While I was breaking down a cardboard box, a car stopped in front of the door and a scraggly dude emerged.

Scraggly: "IS THERE A SMALLER BOX THAT WOULD FIT A BABY ALBINO SQUIRREL?"

Me: (rapid blinking, stunned silence)

Scraggly: "Here, hold this lid for me."

Without waiting for an answer, he dove head-first into the cardboard dumpster. I just managed to grab the lid before it crashed down on his ass (now at eye-level). After some rooting around, he climbed back out with a triumphant grin and a smallish white box. He chattered excitedly as he jumped in his car, but over the noise of the engine I could only make out snippets:

"...it got run over...right there in the middle of the road..."

"...wouldn't 'ave stopped for just any squirrel, but those albinos are like one in a thousand..."

"...think the Asians were having a funeral..."

"...can't remember if those are the good luck ones or the bad luck ones..."

"...anyway, they're just really special, you know..."

Since the only other exit was up the trash chute, I just stared back until he finally drove away. Overall I'd rate Scraggly as creepier than the guy on the No. 16 bus who repeatedly yelled, "Have you ever seen the blaspheming baby-rapist-whore of Minnesota?" and less creepy than the guy who tried to corner me in the tampon aisle at Cub.