Monday, June 23, 2008

You know who you are

To Saint Paul Saints fans: Energy Park Drive is a road. That people drive on. To get places. Quickly. It may seem like a parking lot, but I assure you it is not. If you are not moving forward, you should not be in the driving lane. Period. This is your official warning. The next time one of you slows to a stop to give adequate consideration to "Charity Park - $6" versus "Cheapest Saints Parking!!! - $5" I swear I will lay on that horn so hard you won't know what hit you.

To the creepy young guys in the hot tub at the Little Canada Bally's Total Fitness: You are not cool. No, I'm serious, you're not cool at all. Just because the hot tub has floor to ceiling windows overlooking the lobby does not mean you should sit there and ogle the women entering the club in their skin-tight workout gear. The old dudes get a pass because they have no chance with these women--all they have left is the ogling. But you, Mr. Twenty- or Thirty-Something Moderately Fit Guy With Questionable Judgment, you still have a semblance of a chance to get laid by one of these glistening beauties. Don't blow it with the ogling.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

I love this post.

Maggie said...

Seriously, I used Energy Park to get to the fairgrounds last weekend and really had to go around someone who was completely stopped in the middle of the road.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm not just being cranky. It's an f'ing zoo of people who can't find the accelerator.

anne said...

As I have often said, the world would be a much better place if you ran it.
:)