I did find the random photographer curious at the time

Here I am on the Pizza Luce website (you have to watch the slide show for a few minutes)

Because otherwise I'll forget

Here's my official post to track my ab contest work.

What's with...

...all the shrink-wrapped vegetables at SuperTarget? Okay, maybe to hold the bell peppers on the foam tray and to keep the avocados from getting bruised. But today they had a huge bin of individually shrink-wrapped russet potatoes. You know, the big dirt-covered starch balls that can be used to bludgeon someone to death when swung in a sock. Does the shrink-wrap keep them authentically dirty?

...the busty, bikini-babe half-time show during the women's beach volleyball semifinal? Paul tells me they've had these bikini dances the whole time, but that was certainly the first one I caught a glimpse of.

...pole vaulting. Enough said. Oh, and trampoline. Enough, enough said.

FYI - I totally cried when they showed Shawn Johnson's parents tonight. Even though dumb MPR ruined the surprise for me this morning. Go USA gymnastics. I was truly proud to be an American tonight.

Random useless information about my life

If you've been listening to me complain about how swamped I am at work. you'll be happy to know I got nearly caught up today. It was mostly because not a single agency called me all day. Not one. I actually thought the IP phones were down again (an almost weekly occurrence) but they weren't! A few more days like this and I might be able to start taking occasional lunch breaks again.

I love Redbox, the machine that rents movies at McDonald's. Crazy John said it was the best thing ever, and I finally tried it. It had a surprising array of movies for $1 per night, and it will send you polite emails letting you know when you have rented and returned a movie.

I had a baby spinach salad for dinner tonight. This wouldn't have been exciting, except that the cats discovered their intense love for baby spinach. They kept trying to run off with the spinach leaves. I would have taken a picture except I was worried about the puking that would follow if I let them actually ingest a leaf.

Oh, and a nice young man called from the U tonight to thank me for my recent donation (to the scholarship fund that paid a portion of my master's). I enjoy good strategy--and that was excellent strategy. I will totally give to the U again soon. Macalester could learn a thing or two.

What are you telling me?

Yesterday I was dashing through Rainbow Foods for milk and hamburger buns when the end cap of the chip aisle caught my eye. (Not the end cap that's actually outside the aisle, but the one right near the end of the aisle where they rotate in and out things that are somewhat related to the contents of the aisle). Instead of the usual dips, candies, or similarly complementary items, the end cap featured...control top panty hose.

Also, a mini-rant: I made the mistake of going to trivia at Brit's Pub tonight. It was completely packed to the point of insanity, we couldn't understand a word spoken by the Brit with the crappy sound system, and then it took me 40 MINUTES to get home because of the f'ing Twinkies traffic--causing me to miss Top Chef. I think that's it for me and trivia.

Emotional eater

One of the great loves of my life is...Crispix. Yes, the cereal. I have a really pathetic addiction to that crispy rice on the one side and crunchy corn on the other. I usually eat a bowl of cereal each night before bed, and 94% of the time it is Crispix. Often I enjoy the first bowl so much that I chase it with another.

Anne likes Crispix too (the normal healthy amount), but didn't want to eat it when we lived together lest she be the one to finish the box--and cause anger or sadness. I bought so many boxes at SuperTarget last week that the checkout clerk commented loudly on how much I must love the stuff. Last night I had the bowl of Crispix all poured before I realized I was out of milk. I actually said, out loud, Oh, how awful! in a really whiny voice and then proceeded to consume the bowl without milk.

Some ideas are confusing

Have you ever noticed the Atlantic Buffet in Bloomington? Big yellow sign, south side of 494, proclaiming itself to be a sushi/Mongolian restaurant?

So I ask you, if Mongolia is landlocked and sushi was invented in Japan which is very much in the Pacific Ocean, how did they settle on the name Atlantic Buffet?

Speaking of happy

I stole this picture from Go Fug Yourself because of how incredibly happy Suri and her mom look:

Tonight I saw a child walking down the street hand in hand with his mom. He had the most gleeful smile on his face--likely was related to the giant green lizard costume he was wearing. You have to wonder if mom lost the "what should I wear today" battle on the first day of prekindergarten.

I appreciated the reminder from Suri and lizard-boy: happiness is uncomplicated.

New frontier?

Last night I received a spam text message. Apparently some stock (PBHX?) is about "to go through the!"

I'm assuming "roof" was accidentally omitted. The message indicated it came from AOL, but the specific sender was identified only by a series of digits that do not comprise a full phone number.

This seems like an inefficient way to get the word out about a favored stock. Is text messaging the new frontier for spam? Is this a common occurrence?

Tidbits

Today the budget ladies continued our lunch tour of the capitol grounds memorials. While enjoying a cool breeze in the shade of the women's suffrage memorial, we were unceremoniously sprayed by pop-up lawn sprinklers. Controlled by a man who I swear could clearly see us sitting there. Thanks, buddy.

I was half-watching The Colbert Report a minute ago, and he started a bit with, "We're in the 7th year of President Bush's term..." Holy shit. And people wonder why the world is going to hell in a handbasket? It should be pretty darn obvious why. To those who said in the face of doomsday predictions before he was elected, "it's not like he could really ruin the world" I say, "told you so."

While on the way to an office party in Vadnais Heights, I off-roaded it through Shoreview to avoid some horrendous traffic. Turns out Shoreview is really pretty. Who knew? Good thing it's nice because given the traffic on 694 I'm guessing those folks can't get out much.

We all know I have trouble accomplishing things that normal people do all the time without any thought, like sleeping, cooking, folding laundry, and pooping. Well, I would like to report that last night I accomplished, two, count 'em, TWO of these feats. I cooked that chicken curry rice salad for the office party AND slept 7 hours. However, I left my clean laundry in a semi-folded pile on my dresser and the intestines are having a bad week. But half isn't too shabby.

The best speed

I know it sounds crazy, but I think 40 is the best speed to drive. Not because there is anything inherently great about traveling 40 miles per hour, but because everything good about driving comes together at that speed. I submit:

Roads with 40 mph limits are usually curvy with interesting sights, otherwise they'd be 50 mph

40 mph roads have fewer stoplights than slower roads and less traffic than faster roads

40 mph roads typically have multiple lanes or passing zones so you can get around the slowpokes

You cover ground quickly at 40 mph, but not so fast you miss the scenery

You can test this theory on Minnetonka Boulevard, Energy Park Drive, and the 40 mph segments of Highway 95.

I am lazy (an homage to America)

I had an ambitious plan to go running through Como Park tonight--partly to check out a sign for condos that doesn't appear to be attached to any actual condos. I tried driving to the mysterious condos yesterday but found myself on a dead-end dirt alley (with no condos). So perhaps they can only be approached on foot? Or more likely, they do not exist and that sign was put there to mess with my head. But I digress...

As you might expect from the title, I did not carry out this ambitious plan. Instead, I came home, sat on my couch, and ordered a pizza for delivery. I even placed the order online using my credit card so I didn't have to get off the couch to search for my phone or to see how much cash is in my wallet (it's handy to have your credit card number memorized). Now I plan to watch Gilmore Girls and Pussycat Dolls: Search for the New Doll.

Tell me all about it

I swear there's one of those electronic billboards on my forehead. For women it says, "Tell me all about it, I care." For men it it scrolls to, "If you're a little bit odd, and tend to strike out with the ladies, then give me a shot."

Two examples from this week:

(1) I took my car in for an oil change at the usual place, where the two managers are always very good to me and like to chat me up. It must have been a long week or something, because they were even friendlier than usual. The senior manager (male) basically asked me out for happy hour, and the junior manager (female) recounted Anna Nicole Smith’s entire life story in painstaking detail. Needless to say I declined the invitation (although he’s “taking a rain check” and will “hold me to it”). For the A.N. Smith marathon I did a lot of smiling and nodding after earnest statements like “oh, she was always really crazy" and "it wasn't a real overdose because she had been taking those pills for awhile!"

(2) While stuck in a stairwell with several hundred other state employees during a tornado drill, I got to talking with one of the IT guys. We talk fairly often because we have some overlapping projects, but it took a somewhat strange turn when he related the tornado drill situation to his favorite movie and then the next day loaned me his (illegally burned) copy of said movie. The budget ladies believe he is single and making a move--similar to when he asked one of the other ladies to go on a bike ride. I haven't watched the movie or returned it. Mostly I'm avoiding the situation.

NOT smarter than a 5th grader

I don’t need Fox to tell me that I’ve lost ground since 5^th grade. Kids intuitively know:

1. Working too hard = bad
2. Running around = good

But me, well, I have to be hit over the head by it every once in awhile to remember. Since the people who suck the life out of me are on spring break, I actually had the opportunity (read: got off my lazy ass) to visit Bally’s for the first time in a good long awhile. I never feel good while actually jumping up and down like a moron on a plastic plank, but that first step out into the fresh air after working out is just perfection. It’s really too bad you have to do the whole jumping around part to get the moment of perfection. Perhaps that’s why we invented illicit drugs. Not being much of a recreational user, I’m stuck with my plastic plank.

Did that happen?

I was driving west on County Road C about 6pm today when a pedestrian darted across the road. Yes, we all know that all manner of things jump out at or otherwise attack me while driving. In this case, the ped ran like a maniac across three lanes (which contained no vehicles) but then slowed to a walk in the fourth lane (occupied by my vehicle). I began the usual internal rant about obnoxious peds, until I got a closer look at this one. Although the rainy weather made it difficult to see, I swear the ped was a man dressed as a woman. But I'm not sure. It all happened pretty fast, but I have an image of teased hair blowing in a manner that makes me pretty sure it was a wig, seriously penciled eyebrows, and whole lot of makeup--but then some very manly jeans, and an indescribable coat--big, puffy white with some furry thing on top. What makes me think this was a figment of my imagination is the location. That stretch of road has a massive field on one side and a refinery on the other. There is no good reason for a person to be crossing the road there--cross-dressing or otherwise.

So I don't know if it really happened, but if it did, then I think that was officially the first cross-dressing man I have encountered. This struck me as incredible, given the variety in sexual preferences and lifestyles among my friends (and the several cross-dressing females I have met), but I think it might be true. Anyone else remember a time when I would have encountered a cross-dressing man? Maybe at the Lucy's Way Gay Cabaret? (There was that time when I wore a pink ribbon in my hair and a man struck up a conversation looking for...oh, wait, that was someone else).

Fake spring

So, I've decided to take this fake spring thing we're having and run with it. Aside from work (where closed-toed shoes are the appropriate choice when wandering amongst old white men who are looking for a distraction from the business of tampering with our laws), I have been wearing only sandals. Unfortunately, I forgot to inform this evening's torrential rain and chilly wind about my plan.